Waiting can be hard. No matter what you are waiting for, it is rarely ever fun! I think at least once in our life, we all experience a season of waiting that becomes tough to bear; I know I have.
I remember a season not too long ago when I felt encumbered by the weight of waiting. To be honest, my waiting felt frozen like the North Pole – perpetual and in sub-zero temperatures! I felt snowed in and all at once, my season of waiting simply became too excruciating.
It set off an endless string of emotions that became too much for me to handle on my own. That was my problem – I was trying to carry the weight of waiting on my own.
And so, the disquiet began. The 3am restlessness in bed that allowed panic and anxiety to arrest me, as I grappled with the unknown; the fear that would only subside when sadness stopped by to lull me back to sleep; the constant need to put on my “game face” so I wouldn’t inconveniently break down in random places or worse still, let people see my fragile interior. Because that was my true state – I was fragile. I was struggling – plain and simple.
The problem was, I had believed the lie that because I was still waiting for my breakthrough, God had forgotten me. I had allowed His Word that promises me that “He will never leave me nor forsake me” to become a mere theory. My head grasped His words but my heart resisted it – because my reality did not reflect it.
I had allowed my fear of the unknown and the uncertainty that always accompanies a season of waiting, to push God’s Word back into that tomb.
In essence, I had allowed my waiting to become a veil between my Father and I!
It was all a choice and I chose wrong – I allowed myself to listen to the wrong voice
That’s the problem when we wait on our own strength.
When we lean on our own understanding of why we are waiting, instead of simply trusting God, we risk deviating from His plan and we cause confusion in our soul.
Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Trusting Him with all our hearts means trusting Him even when it is uncomfortable, painful and confusing. It means trusting even when God is seemingly silent about our wait. It means submitting to Him in all our ways, including our tendency to sometimes rush ahead.
The truth is, the winter of waiting is a burden that’s too heavy for us to bear alone. Giving it to Jesus so we can be still and rest in Him makes the walk lighter and the wait warmer.
My season of waiting is not over but I’ve learnt to cope better. How? Because I have learnt to give God my waiting when I realised that I am not the only one waiting – God is too!
After God gave Noah the mandate to build the ark in Genesis 6, God waited. Noah took what must have seemed like an eternity to build the ark, probably under scrutiny and scornful gazes, but through it all, God had patiently waited.
God could have snapped a finger and built the ark in an instant to accomplish what He needed to do on earth. After all, He was eager enough to start the world afresh but that is not what God did.
He waited for Noah to build the ark in natural time because God wanted to accomplish something in Noah too. God wanted Noah to experience the covenant He made. God wanted Noah to be a witness to His work.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” – Romans 8:28
Centuries later, our Abba is still waiting – this time for me and for you.
Waiting for us to take our eyes off what we do not yet have and set our gaze back to what we do have – Jesus…
Waiting for us to allow Him to do what He needs to do in us during this season of waiting, so we can be ready for where He is leading us…
Waiting for us to wholly step into all that He has called us to be…
Today, if you are still waiting, take comfort in Him “who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion…” – Philippians 1:6.
Your Father will “never leave you nor forsake you” – Deuteronomy 31:6.
**Previously published in Christianity Malaysia