Today I logged on to Facebook and a glaring ‘alert’ screamed at me: “It’s been 71 days since you posted on your blog”.
I felt something wrestle in my gut and it was nothing good. I’ve seen that reminder before – sometimes Facebook is just too good at reminding you of things you don’t want to be reminded of!
When I first saw the notification, it was “45 days” but there was nothing I could do about that. I was struggling with health issues; my vision was affected and an extensive recuperation followed a minor surgery. In a way, it was a forced hiatus; I needed a little “shut eye”.
Then, I recovered but something in my psyche “shut down”
– although it was not needed. In the remaining days that followed I simmered in silence believing that I lost all my words. I suddenly had no thoughts and I let myself set an invisible standard that was way above my 5ft++ height!
And eventually when I did pick up the pen, I of course censored every word even before I could write them down. The bar was set too high and nothing fit the mould.
The days were adding and then it felt as if I was too late. I felt Anxiety drained my mind until it was as blank as my journal. Ever felt that way?
Until today – 71 days later. I asked myself: Whose standard matters?
If it were my standards, then I’m doomed to fail. In everything. My mortal standards are never realistic and it will always be too late. I will always fall short of my own expectations. The result will always be a failure to move forward and that is not God’s will for me.
“for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again” – Proverbs 24:16.
If it is only God’s standard that matters to me then it is never too late. No matter what the “failure” is, no matter what my fall is, and no matter how far lost I get or how long I slumber, it is still never too late.
Everyday, “His mercies are new” [Lamentations 3:23]. Everyday I get a second chance and everyday I can try again.
So today, I sat down and wrote. In 30 mins, I strung together a whole bunch of words that did not meet my “standards”. I simply typed out my thoughts – no censors – to remind myself that it is not too late to do what He has called me to do. Even on Day 71. It’s not too late.
I only need to do.
Today, if you are struggling to do something you know you are called to do, something that weighs in on you every single day that you don’t do it, and you feel that it is somehow too late. I want to encourage you – It. Is. Not.
That’s a horrific lie that is holding you back and the only way to overcome that is to take your struggles to God and get moving again.
If you’re feeling too weak to step up – the way I felt – then ask for His strength to lift you.
“for My strength is made perfect in weakness” – 2 Corinthians 12:9].
He will raise you up.. you only need ask.
Today, whatever it is, will you join me and get back up?